Dealing with a big age difference in a relationship where one partner is significantly older or younger can be difficult for a couple. Studies show that age gap relationships break up at more than twice the rate of no/little-gap relationships, and the larger the age gap, the higher are the chances of a couple separating. Couples who have a large age gap in their relationship face some real issues, such as different life stages, expectations, health, fitness levels, interests, and beliefs. In Part 1 of this series, I’ll be discussing some common problems that couples with an age gap usually face in their relationship.

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Negative societal attitude: People usually see age gap relationships as outside of a societal norm and often judge the couple with suspicion (is he/she in it only for the money or sex?). Couples in an age gap relationship often feel pressurized to justify and explain themselves, and keep reassuring their loved ones that they are together because they truly like each other and not for any sinister reason. If you are in such a relationship, be prepared to face judgmental comments and attract negative attention from your family and friends.


Different views and experiences: Another challenge in age gap relationships arises from the differences in experiences and views of both the partners. The older partner is likely to have more life experience across various subjects, while the younger partner may have yet to experience significant life events such as marriage or children. Also, both partners might have contrasting views and may be unable to understand the importance of past events in each other’s lives. Holding different views and opinions often leads to disagreements between couples in an age gap relationship.


Having children: For couples with an age gap, children can become the biggest hurdle in their relationship. For instance, if the female partner in the relationship is younger, she may want to have children in the future, though the significantly older male partner may not be interested because he’s already been through raising kids. Also, if the female partner in the relationship is older, then fertility is an issue that has to be considered. Similarly, before deciding to have children, the older partner will need to think about whether he or she will be around long enough to raise them.


Assuming: Couples in an age gap relationship often blame the differences in their age for their problems. While most other couples tend to attribute their relationship problems to external circumstances, couples in a relationship with an age gap usually assume that their relationship problems are only due to the difference in their age.


As long as couples in an age gap relationship share the same goals, age cannot be a deterrent to having a healthy, respectful and loving relationship. In Part 2 of this series, I will be sharing some tips for couples on how to handle age difference in their relationship and overcome their unique challenges.


If you're worried about your age gap relationship and would like to seek counseling, contact Orly Gueron a Licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship specialist in Aventura, FL!