The first lesson most of us learn is to be selfless. Putting someone else’s needs above ours is taught to be fundamentally good. Sharing your crayon when you need it most is applauded. Giving up your seat in the bus even though you are sick for an elderly is admired. While being selfless is generally a good thing, it’s essential to be selfish sometimes. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish at all. In fact, it’s one of the best things you can do for yourself. Here’s why:

undefined

Self-care makes you emotionally present: When was the last time you were emotionally present and available for your kids or spouse or friends? The less you take care of yourself, the less you’re emotionally attuned to the feelings of your loved ones. One great way to be emotionally present for your loved ones is to practice mindfulness. Try to be aware of your thoughts, feelings and behavior in the present moment without judgement. Mindfulness doesn’t involve quietening your mind. On the contrary, it means letting thoughts and feelings pass by without reacting to them.

Be mindful of the present moment rather than choosing to react immediately to a problem or behavior. Meditation can help you practice mindfulness, connect better with loved ones by being emotionally present for them, reduce stress and lessen the chattering in your head.

Full-time moms work 98 hours a week! A study revealed an astounding fact: The average mother works a shocking 98 hours a week. That’s the equivalent of two jobs. This number was arrived at by examining full-time working mothers who took care of school-going children. No wonder mothers feel overwhelmed all the time.

Taking a break from your family and kids as much as you need.

Taking care of yourself makes you a better parent and spouse: Moms take extremely good care of their kids by never missing their appointments, replenishing groceries in the house often, cooking meals and dealing with teachers at school. All that energy consumption makes you worn out and fatigued. Taking a day off will make you rested, less irritable and more energized to deal with children, your spouse and work. You will be more present during puppet shows, picnics at the beach and at parent-teacher meetings. A well-rested parent is a good parent.

Cuts your risk for developing depression: Not taking a day off from a hectic schedule leads to several mental health problems such as insomnia, depression, anxiety and chronic stress. Taking care of yourself ensures you stay emotionally available and mentally healthy. After all, you are the glue that holds the family together.

Don’t do errands on your day off! On your day off, do something you’ve always wanted to do. Jog, hike, take a dancing class, hit the gym, go shopping, dance with girlfriend at a club or read a book and sip espresso at your favorite cafe. What you shouldn’t do on your downtime is run errands, go grocery shopping, fix a leaking pipe or call an electrician. Focus on you. Focus on what makes you happy and do it. It’s your valuable me time.

Prioritize your needs: Don’t want to volunteer at school for an event? Not interested in attending and cooking for a potluck? Learn to say no. You have a limited amount of time and resources. Say yes to things you really want to do as opposed to things that are socially required. Also, spend some time with your partner by going on dates or doing an activity together. Taking care of yourself will make you a healthier and happier human being, a better spouse and a loving parent.

If you or someone you know would benefit from a counseling session, contact Orly Gueron a Licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship specialist in Aventura, FL!