Financial arguments can quickly bring an end to a good relationship, which makes it important for couples to change the way they handle money issues. In Part 2 of this series, I am sharing some important tips I have developed as a relationship counselor on how couples with money problems can avoid getting into financial arguments and resolve their issues amicably.

Be more open: Never hide either your income or debt from your partner. Make sure that both of you have access to each other’s financial documents, including the latest credit report, pay slips, bank account statement, insurance policies, investments and loans. When both of you are fully aware about each other’s financial position, there are less chances of any nasty surprises springing up later.

Don’t bring up finances in the middle of a fight: Never approach money issues in the heat of battle. All that anger and frustration from a fight over some other issue can spill over to money issues and you can end up with a big financial argument.

Talk about money: Don’t leave important things about money unsaid between you and your partner. Sit down and have a talk about your finances in a respectful and positive way. Discuss your accounts, your plans, anything you need to budget for, upcoming payments, problem areas, etc. If your partner's spending habits are worrying you, then don’t hesitate from expressing your concerns during such talks.

undefined

Make a budget: Just talking about money with your partner isn’t enough and you need to do something more to manage it. If you haven’t created a household budget already, make one that includes savings as well. Decide together on the general spending rules or limits, who pays the monthly bills, allocation of money, etc., so that none of these issues become a source of conflict later.

Allow for independence: When you create a budget, make sure to include financial freedom by providing both of you with the independence to set aside some money for spending at your own discretion. By agreeing on a fixed amount that each of you can spend on whatever you want without any questions asked, you’ll be taking any power struggle out of your relationship that are often the source for financial arguments.

Accept your differences: If you’re stuck in a relationship with your financial opposite, then make an effort to understand your partner's perspective. Accepting the fact that your approach to money differs from that of your partner will reduce your expectations and subsequent frustration, which will go a long way in bringing down those fights over money issues.

Make lifestyle changes: If you or your partner has just discovered that you have a huge debt to repay, then it would be unrealistic to continue with the same lifestyle. You’ll need to make adjustments, cut back on spending and implement drastic changes until you’ve repaid the debt to avoid uncomfortable financial situations that could create room for arguments.

Respect your partner’s role: In any couple relationship, both partners have an equal contribution, even if any one of them doesn’t play a monetary role. If you’re the higher earner in the relationship, never allow your income to justify a power imbalance. Instead, you need to empower your partner to make them feel like an equal contributor in the relationship by acknowledging and appreciating their valuable role.

If you'd like professional help improving or strengthening your relationship, contact Orly Gueron a Licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship specialist in Aventura, FL!