Did you know that couples fight about money twice as much as they fight about sex? Couples argue mainly over money issues, which usually revolve around how they spend, save and pay their bills. What’s worse is that these financial arguments tend to create deep divisions and decrease relationship satisfaction. In fact, money is the top predictor of divorce. As a couples counselor I have treated many couples who have faced relationship issues pertaining to finances. In Part 1 of this series, I’ll be taking a look at some common reasons why couples usually get into frequent arguments over money issues.

Financial infidelity: Hiding a large amount of debt from gambling or secretly using credit cards in fear of upsetting your partner is something that usually backfires. When the debt increases to levels that it can’t be hidden anymore and your partner finds out, get ready for a big fight about the large debt that now has to be repaid and anger over the broken trust.

undefined

Secretly dipping into a partner’s finances: Most couples share finances and are generally open to lending money to each other. But using your partner’s savings account or taking their money without asking can leave them feeling cheated when they finally learn the truth and lead to financial arguments.

Making unplanned purchases from joint money: You also risk having a huge financial argument if you purchase something using joint money without asking your partner first. If you both have agreed to save for a trip or doing up your house, but you instead go out and buy a car, it can create enough anger and resentment to start a fight.

Power struggle: In any couple relationship, one partner usually earns more money than the other, which can make them want to control the money. If you’re the one with higher earnings in the relationship and like to keep track of all the money, but keep stopping your partner from making any financial decisions, there can be some ugly fights over money issues.

Lack of communication over money: Many couples are unable to really understand where each other is at with regards to money because they never talk to each other about it. You might avoid talking about money with your partner because you are either uncomfortable or afraid it could lead to conflict. But those unaddressed money issues that you’ve been avoiding discussing will sooner or later return to haunt your relationship, resulting in arguments and fights.

Different personalities: When it comes to money, men and women usually have different views. For women, money is more of a sign of security and stability, while men see money issues as a threat to their self esteem. We also tend to get into relationships with our financial opposite. If you’re a saver, chances are you’re in a relationship with a person who is a spender and has a completely opposite money style. Or it could be vice versa with you being the spender and your partner being the saver. This difference in approach to money can cause great frustration and bring up frequent arguments over finance between you and your partner.

In Part 2 of this series, I’ll be giving some important tips on how couples with money problems can avoid getting into financial arguments and resolve their issues amicably.

If you'd like professional help improving or strengthening your relationship, contact Orly Gueron a Licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship specialist in Aventura, FL!