Most couples experience different relationship or marital problems at some point in their lives, but the truth is that they face similar issues. As a relationship specialist and couple counselor, I have successfully guided many individuals and couples on how to deal with their relationship problems and solve them to move forward in life. Based on my experience in couple counseling, I have put together a list of the four most common communication problems that couples encounter in their relationship and solutions to deal with these issues.

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Criticizing: Pointing your finger at your partner to say their personality or character is the problem means criticizing them instead of the problem in your relationship. Rather than pointing your finger at your partner, gently start a discussion, minimize the problem and talk about what you feel and need.


Becoming defensive: A natural reaction to being criticized is to become defensive. In response to criticism from your partner, you could be counterattacking or playing an innocent victim and complaining. Instead of becoming defensive, the solution is to accept criticism from your partner and even take some responsibility for the problem. Allow your partner to talk to you and let you know how they feel about the problem.


Showing contempt: If your behavior towards your partner shows contempt, then your relationship is headed for trouble. Talking down to your partner, being insulting or acting superior are all acts of contempt, which is regarded as the number one predictor of breakups. Behave respectfully at all times with your partner because by showing contempt to them, you will only be inviting the same kind of behavior in return.


Stonewalling: If you are shutting down your partner or tuning out, then you are indicating that you just don’t care about them or the relationship. Since good communication is regarded as the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, stonewalling is a serious problem as it indicates a persistent refusal to communicate or express emotions. Instead of resorting to stonewalling tactics, you need to change the way you communicate with your partner. A couples counselor or marriage therapist can better guide you on how to strength communication in a relationship affected by stonewalling.

If you are experiencing these or similar problems in your couple or marital relationship and need help to resolve them, contact Orly Gueron a Licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship specialist in Aventura, FL!