These days, technology in general and cell phones in particular seem to have intruded on everything, including relationships between couples. So many of my clients are always complaining to me about feeling neglected when their partner is on the phone, or their ‘quality’ time together being disrupted by texts, emails, or games. Of late, I’ve been hearing a lot about relationships between couples suffering after the craze over the Pokémon Go game, with one partner accusing the other of spending more time catching virtual monsters than being together. There’s plenty of research to support the fact that the amount of time you spend on your cell phone can sabotage your attachment with your loved one in more ways than one, such as: (and those are just a few)

Lack of attention: When you’re busy checking alerts, notifications and email reminders on your cell phone in the middle of a discussion with your partner, it’s just impossible for you to wholeheartedly devote your attention to what your partner is saying or meaning. The lack of attention can also make your partner feel unimportant, causing conflict and negative outcomes in your relationship.

Loss of communication: Many couples tend to communicate through social media which has replaced deep-felt, long conversations. Using a cell phone to communicate all the time instead of having quality of face-to-face interactions can cause a communication breakdown between couples.

Losing connection: Most couples don’t have boundaries to their cell phone usage and end up becoming obsessed with their devices. Over-attachment to cell phones makes people become indifferent to the real world and the people they love and care about the most, weakening relationships between couples. If you’re married to your cell phone, then you need to establish cell-phone rules and promote face-to-face communication with your partner and save your relationship.

Here’s are some simple rules you can apply that might save your relationship with your partner: 

No cell phone at the dining table: When you sit down at the table to have food, strictly reserve that time for face-to-face conversation with your partner. You can always reply to those never-ending phone calls and text messages afterwards. Simply put your cell phone away when you sit down at the dining table with your partner and have a meaningful dialogue instead.

No cell phone in the restaurant: Going out to eat with your partner gives you time to reconnect and have some good ‘old-fashioned’ conversation.” Leave your cell phone in the car before entering the restaurant to avoid being distracted during the much-needed quality time that you’ll be spending with your partner.

Avoid discussing personal issues over the cell phone: Never text or call your partner when you have to discuss serious issues because you won't fully understand what your partner really means unless you hear the tone in their voice or see their face. Always have a face-to-face conversation when you need to discuss serious issues with your partner.

Reduce cell phone usage: It is a very simple formula! The more time you spend with your cell phone, the less amount of time you’ll have left to spend with your partner. Even if you love using your cell phone for texting, messaging, emailing, social media or playing games like Pokémon Go, you need to allot a fixed amount of time for using your cell phone. Instead of forcing your partner to compete with your cell phone for your time and attention, simply cut down on your cell phone usage by keeping it out of sight.

If you'd like professional help improving or strengthening your relationship, get in touch with Orly Gueron, a leading licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship specialist in Aventura, FL!