It’s important for couples to invest in their relationship when the children are young because a child's greatest comfort comes from knowing that their parents' relationship is as strong as it can be. I always tell my clients who come to me for couple counseling that they don’t have to choose between a happy relationship and happy, secure children because by having the first, they are guaranteed to get the second as well. So here are some important tips on how you can successfully balance parenthood and your relationship to enjoy the best of both worlds.

Spend time together: Parenthood means a frenetic pace of life for couples, leaving little time to devote to their own relationship. As a couple, you need to establish a routine relationship time to manage your roles as parents and partners. Make sure to check in with your partner for at least a half hour per day to share what’s happening in your life and everything that is affecting you emotionally. Even if you can’t get away together for the whole weekend or go on a date, take short walks together. Plan low-key date nights that involve staying at home and ordering food or watching TV together. Set early bedtimes so that your children are in their rooms and out of your hair, giving you both a chance to talk to each other.

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Divide responsibilities: When it comes to parenting, I’ve seen many couples usually take up whatever duties that may come up at the moment, leaving one partner or the other feeling overworked. But organizing a schedule and dividing parenting tasks is a must to create a balance that will seem fair and reasonable to avoid resentment between couples down the road.

Maintain open communication: I can’t stress enough how important it is for couples to talk openly and discuss how to resolve conflicts, fix priorities and assign responsibilities. You need to communicate clearly on issues such as whether one of you will be a stay-at-home parent, or finding quality childcare if both of you plan to go to work, and adjustments you are willing to make for the children. Maintaining an open discussion and two-way communication with your partner will help you understand hidden issues and arrive at solutions

Support and appreciate each other: Being a parent is a demanding job for couples. Showing support and appreciation to each other can not only help strengthen your relationship as a couple, but also as parents. Instead of finding mistakes, express admiration and respect for your partner’s parenting efforts and recognize the positive aspects of your partner’s role in the lives of your children.

Lower your expectations: Parenting can make you feel somewhat disconnected from your partner as both of you struggle to take out the time and energy for each other, though that doesn't mean your relationship is on the rocks. Be kind to yourselves and each other by slightly lowering your expectations because your partner is going through the same parenting struggles and trying to cope with similar challenges.

Build intimacy: Maintaining regular sexual intimacy is one way to express your love for your partner. If parenting duties are leaving you both with less time for excitement between the sheets, then you need to fix a day or more every week when you can get intimate. Be spontaneous. If it’s the middle of the day and your children are sleeping, drop all those chores and have some fun in the bedroom. Spice up your sex life to keep the love strong and growing.

If you'd like professional help improving or strengthening your relationship, contact Orly Gueron a Licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship specialist in Aventura, FL!