Have you ever tossed and turned in bed, worrying about tomorrow’s to-list, that important presentation on Friday or whether your child’s cough might be accompanied by a fever? Worrying about the future or events that haven’t yet occurred is called anxiety and it’s a horrible feeling.

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Why is anxiety so bad? Because we forget about the present and focus all our energy into worrying about future events and outcomes. Often, we imagine the worst possible outcome. And before you know it, you’re having panic attacks, suffering from insomnia, going into depression or simply becoming numb to situations, the people in your life and your surroundings.

Anxiety Affects Relationships

Anxiety not only affects the person experiencing it but also affects their relationships and the people in their lives. Firstly, an anxious person is more likely to act impulsively. Secondly, worrywarts are often labelled as “needy” because they need constant reassurance from their partners that everything will be okay. Thirdly, anxious people spend less energy focusing on their partner’s needs because they are too caught up in their own problems.

Anxious people also tend to be more fearful and defensive in romantic relationships. Moreover, panic-stricken individuals avoid trying new things out of fear, they lack self-confidence and are suspicious of others.

5 Useful Tips to Become More Mindful

So how can you beat this monster? Well, mindfulness goes a long way in dousing the flames of anxiety. Mindfulness isn’t a fancy Buddhist term. It simply means focusing your energy on the present moment. It means being aware of your thoughts and surroundings without any judgement. In short, it means being present in the present.

Like all good habits, mindfulness needs practice. Here are 5 ways you can beat the jitters:

1. Meditation

In reality, meditation is quite a simple practice that reduces stress, promotes relaxation, and of course, eliminates anxiety. You can practice it for a few minutes to several hours a day depending on your schedule.

Every morning, close your eyes, sit in a comfortable position and focus on your breathing. It’s perfectly natural to be bombarded by a barrage of thoughts while meditating. Instead of chiding yourself, simply nudge your focus back to your breath. Keep doing it every day and you will notice that it becomes much easier to focus on your breathing.

2. Acknowledge and accept your feelings

Rather than trying to fight your feelings – be it anxiety, depression, stress or grief – simply accept it and experience it as it is. Similar to weathering out a storm, simply accept your feelings and allow it to pass.

3. Practice self-compassion

The sad truth is that most of us won’t treat other people like we treat yourselves. We criticize our actions and blame ourselves for making the smallest of mistakes. Why not meet yourself with kindness? Why not forgive yourself as easily as you’d forgive others for their blunders? Why can’t we treat ourselves with the same love and respect that we treat our partner, best friend or family members?

Being kind to yourself will go a long way in alleviating anxiety.

4. Take a pause

Being paralyzed while looking at your to-do list or seeing your calendar as a beast that must be conquered will do you no favors in easing tension. So stop. Pause. Notice the thoughts you’re having or the feelings your feeling at this moment.

5. Breathe

Breathing exercises not only contribute to being mindful but also lower stress levels. Notice your breathing. Concentrate all your energy in inhaling and exhaling. Feel your belly rise and contract with each inhalation and exhalation.

Try one of these techniques and make a note of any mental, emotional or physical changes that you experience.

Still feeling anxious or know someone who worries excessively about the future? Feel free to contact Orly Gueron a licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship specialist in Aventura, FL!