A happy, successful, post-divorce life depends on whether you are able to successfully let go of the negative feelings of grief, despair, betrayal, anger, abandonment and fear about the future. As a relationship counselor, I help my clients heal after their separation by teaching them how to let go of their negative emotions, focus on making a new beginning and discover that there is life after divorce.

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In Part 2 of this series, I’ll be sharing some valuable tips and suggestions that can help you to cope with divorce, as well as successfully use the transition from being married to being single again to create positive growth in your life.


Grieving: Among all emotions accompanying your divorce, the toughest one to deal with will be grief. You could feel remorse for your actions and often think about what you did wrong. Shoving the grief down and not allowing it to be released can cause far more damage. It’s important not to dwell on those feelings, but to make room for them.

Moving On: It’s normal to dwell on the loss, cry and grieve until about a year after your divorce. After that, you need to consciously shift your mind and stop thinking about the past. Pondering over whether your decision to seek a divorce was right or wrong isn’t’ going to be of any help at this stage. You need to accept that you did what you believed to be best for you and stay confident about your decision.

Re-live the Single Life: You may have done a lot of fun things when you were single, like learning new stuff, travelling to new places, meeting new people, buying and trying out new clothes, and much more. But your married life may have restricted you from doing all those things and from living your life freely. Post-divorce is the right time to re-live your single life and work towards you plans and goals which you have always wanted to achieve, but couldn’t do during your marriage.

Socializing: Divorce can also break your relationship with some friends, but you can still retain those who have been there for you through it all. Let go of all the negative people and make room for those who truly care for you. Also work towards making new friends whom you can trust to share your emotions with. Remember, life doesn’t have to be lonely after a divorce and having good friends can directly influence the quality of your life.

Back to Dating: After being in a long and committed relationship, getting back in the singles market can appear tough. If you’ve been cheated by your ex, then the whole idea of starting a new romantic relationship can seem scary. Never carry all the emotional baggage from your previous relationship into your new life. If you’re scared of attracting the wrong person, then be very selective and choose someone who you know is capable of giving you a happy ending.

Financially Supporting Yourself: After the divorce is over and you are finished with the legal formalities, there will be financial issues to deal with. Now that you are on your own, focus on becoming financially independent and establishing a financial plan for your life. Reduce your expenses, draw up your weekly expenditure and re-evaluate your finances so that you have sufficient funds to stay afloat financially even during rough times.

Seeing a Therapist: After a divorce, you could simply sweep your emotions under the rug, but unless you work through them, your post-divorce life is unlikely to be healthy. You may need to talk out your feelings with a marriage and family therapist who can show you how to successfully make the transition from being married to being single again and work toward a better life. A therapist can help you cope with a divorce as well as show you how to use this life transition as an opportunity for growth and personal development.

If you missed the first part of this series you may go back to https://orlygueron.com/blog/index.php?controller=post&action=view&id_post=22


If you'd like professional help overcoming a divorce or any other issue, contact Orly Gueron a Licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship specialist in Aventura, FL!